Leaving New York in 9 days – and going to my weird dark place.

November 8, 2011

I’m a strange person. I always keep my options open until the very last minute and then make an impulse decision… and although its TERRIFYING – I don’t feel like I’ve done my life that much wrong. Yeah I’ve had to bail myself out of a couple fuck ups – but in hindsight I see all the growing and learning that came from every single one of them.

Currently – I’ve been in New York for about 6 months – and I’m finding it impossible to figure out a visa so that I can stay any longer. It’s shitty.. This place just started to really feel like home.. somewhere I could be for a minute.. and now I have to leave.

The only thing I’m looking forward to is a couple months of solitude. It sounds lame as hell – but I just want to be by myself and go into my brain a little further. I want to spend a month retard high, be depressed, go a little crazy – and see what dope weird shit I can come up with… in all aspects of art. My music, writing, drawing, painting, jewelry and design.. I just want to create without distraction.. in my weird dark place.

I need to go back to places that I said I’d never go back to… just to remember where I came from… so that I can figure out where I’m going to go from there. For the first time – money isn’t an issue. I could go anywhere in the world… and I’ve thought about moving to strange places like Thailand or Europe.. but I just want to go HOME for a minute.


5 Responses to Leaving New York in 9 days – and going to my weird dark place.

  1. anthony on November 8, 2011 at 8:06 pm

    home is in your heart so just follow it and always have a friend close to a dark place … because they make great lights when… just learn how to shine perhaps in the darkest place :)

  2. Scott aka Bucko on November 8, 2011 at 8:09 pm

    Thank you Girl

  3. annonymous on November 8, 2011 at 9:28 pm

    You’re beautiful. And if those attributes make u strange and weird so be it. Many people have crazier messed up problems. Everyone needs to do some reflecting sometime so u go girl and good luck in ur future.

  4. Lovely on November 9, 2011 at 11:46 pm

    Get your ass back to Edmonton to regroup! Also get a phone that works, its depressing hearing its been disconnected. You are beautiful and talented and going to be a success no matter where you go.
    xox ox ox
    1 luv

  5. Erika on January 11, 2012 at 1:39 pm

    I know exactly what you mean–I always keep my options open all the time and then it always comes to some huge, crazy crunch time and as a result I’ve relocated more than ten times in eight years. But it’s good; you talk to people who haven’t moved around that much and you feel like you really lived your life, even if it is a major hassle. Shit is supposed to calm down as you get older too so you’ll miss this time one day–enjoy it!

    PS Hit me up when you come to Toronto! Eriks

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